This time of the year every lingerie store or website worth its salt feels compelled to produce a Gentleman Lingerie Buying Guide – a series of dumb proof guidelines that supposedly should tell your Mr Right what you really want to find in that red box under the Christmas tree.
I’d really love to know how many men actually read these ‘guides’. If there are any male readers out there, please enlighten me: do you really end up following the suggestions provided?
Honestly, I hope you don’t. In fact, I find most of these ‘invaluable tips’ to range from pretty much useless to mildly offensive.
Please indulge me, and let me tell you why…
It is not just for her
One of the most important rules proclaimed by these guides seems to be: Buy for her, not for yourself.
So does that mean you should buy something you don’t like because she will love it? Does that not defeat the purpose of lingerie gifting? Forgive the generalisation, but I believe men buy lingerie because they want to see their woman wearing it. Let’s be honest here – you are buying for your lady, but also for your own pleasure!
So how about, take the time to find something you will both love and enjoy, instead? But then I wonder, do you really need to be told that??
The ‘sexy’ quarrel
Women prefer sexy but classy lingerie – states the omniscient writer – something like this for example [link to product follows.. ]!
Why should you listen to a total stranger who is trying to tell you that all women have the same taste in lingerie? I don’t know your partner and as far as I’m concerned, she might like sexy, explicit stuff. It’s her choice, her taste.
So if you were looking for raunchy underwear, you just landed on the wrong website and waisting your time (and my adwords money).
But I don’t have to point you towards sexy but classy items in my store. Our collections are carefully selected based on this criteria, always. Some pieces can be more teasing than others, but they are designed for sophisticated, elegant women who are not afraid to embrace their sensuality. If you are curious, you can read about our philosophy.
Women prefer black
No they don’t. Or at least not all of them and not if your last 10 lingerie sets were all black. Sure, black is a classic but a lot of girls love colour. Again, I feel like I’m stating the obvious, but I am sure you know if she would happily wear neon pants. Men who say they don’t are just being lazy…
Talking about laziness..
Look into her drawers to find her size. Oh, we have news for you, bra sizes can’t be estimated. Yes, you really need to put some effort in this. And by the way, you should KNOW her size already. Because I truly hope you don’t just wait for Christmas to buy lingerie to your woman.
Ok, maybe I’m being a bit too optimistic assuming you know – and remember – her bra, bottom, stockings and shoe sizes. I can never remember my partner’s shoe size and I often buy him beautiful shoes. But you get my point – I know I need the right size and so do you.
I don’t mean to generalize – some of these guides are really designed to provide more valuable info about the products and make everyone’s life easier.
But a lot of times they just read like an arrogant assumption that all men are all a) clueless and b) completely oblivious to their partners taste and preferences.
Well, we have a large male clientele and I’ve been lucky enough to converse with many of them – either in person or via email – on several occasions. These men are very knowledgable and discerning buyers. It’s clear that they enjoy buying lingerie for their partners and they know exactly what they are looking for. It’s not just something they ‘have to do’ because it’s Christmas and therefore they need to be guided, step by step in the process.
If I had to give you one tip only (sorry, but at this point I cannot resist the urge) it would be – Be willing to learn. Ask her, if you really don’t know where to start. You will make mistakes sometimes – take note and move on. You will get better at this.
But never deny yourself, and your lover, the pleasure to indulge in fabulous lingerie you will both appreciate.
What do you think of lingerie buying guides? I’d like to know your opinion!